Sep 5, 2014

Sometimes Bad Things Make Me Appreciate More

Family feuds get ugly, right?  I won't name names or exact relations for privacy purposes- even though none of them read my blog.  Just a respect thing.  You know how people write stuff on their Facebook status that is vague but clearly directed at someone without actually saying their name?  That is what I am going to do here.

My aunt and uncle have opened up their home to many individuals needing a place to stay.  Myself included.  Twice.  Once in my early twenties when I was going through some crap and again in my late twenties when I broke my arm and could not do regular household stuff on my own.  I am eternally grateful to them and I feel forever indebted.  That is not why they did it- they did not want me feeling in debt.  They  just wanted to help.  I sincerely appreciate it and will never forget their generosity.

Fast forward and they have helped others who needed a place to stay.  Their house has been a revolving door and most recently they have some guests who do not appreciate that the place they have to stay is because of my aunt and uncle.  An argument broke out.  Not a big deal because that kind of thing happens when people cohabitate.  It escalates into a threat that someone is going to hit my uncle who ends up on the phone.  House guest #2 asks if he is calling the cops.  He wasn't- but he was calling someone to help de-escalate the situation, if needed.

House guest #2 commences to rounding up some boys to get the party started.  The issue grows until it is a full blown family fight (instead of house guest fight) where mud gets slung and mean things are said.  Which is typical of fights, right?

The argument then turns into money.  I actually chopped out quite a bit of the story in case one day I am famous and someone reads this.  (I can dream)  My purpose is not to antagonize or bring up old sh*t.  My purpose is that the big picture is being missed.  That is that we have been fortunate enough to have someone willing and able to help us - each of us.  The house guests are fortunate enough to have a roof over their head.  Just as I was fortunate to have a roof over my head and people willing to help me while I was living there. 
In reference to money- I still cannot understand why people fight over the money of others.  And feel entitled to have someone else's money.  Or compare how much or how little of a person's money they get.  Yes, everyone wants more money but we are supposed to earn our own money.  Not count on someone else's.  I am just heartbroken that people think and act that way.  I just cannot understand those thought processes.  I prayed that these individuals would be shown the "light"... somehow be shown that greed and envy is not the right way and that their ideas/viewpoints are wrong.  Knowing that others worry/think about someone else's money feels ugly to me and it made me feel bad that this was (and has been) going on.

I didn't sleep well that night and the next morning I see on Facebook that my friend passed away from cancer.  She has been battling it for 8 years and I talked about her and the situation a little bit in this blog:  All day I felt kinda upset.  Then it hit me.

I am NEVER going to understand why others feel entitled.   Because: I am NEVER going to be greedy.  I am NEVER going to intentionally hurt people.  (I put 'intentionally' because sometimes accidents happen)  I don't have to worry about making the ugliness go away.  I don't have to worry about how to help the situation.  Why?

Because I am not the cause of the situation.  I cannot resolve it.  Nothing I can ever say or do will make certain viewpoints change and I am wasting good energy on nothing -just by thinking about it.  I have chosen to be a good person.  I have chosen to see the good in others.  The choices I make are what makes me who I am.  These same choices are what makes me have a good day.  They make me happy.  They make me worry free.  (to an extent as I am still human and it seems to be natural to worry about things that need resolution)  What I mean by making me worry free is that I can sleep at night knowing that I haven't done anybody wrong or created an unpleasant environment for them.  I don't think ill thoughts about others.  My desire is that everyone is happy and gets along.

I pull my weight, pay my taxes, work every day, do good to others, stimulate the economy and not take from it and I work hard on my goals.  I have EARNED everything I have.  "Gimmee" left when I was 2 yrs. old- probably even a year and a half cuz my parents weren't putting up with that crap. 

My friend, Brigid, battled cancer and still made time to make others feel good.  She made sure she spread cheer and joy - not hate and negativity.  I have learned a tremendous amount from the above stated situation and the life of Brigid.  Life is what you make of it.  Life is what I make of it.  I can let the stupid crap pull me down or I can keep taking the high road.  That is what I choose.  Thanks, Brigid, for opening my eyes with your genuine heart and wisdom!!  You will be missed.
It is a random rant but the message is important.  It goes along with the other appreciation posts and gratitude posts.  I appreciate what I have, what I receive and what I give.  Anything less than the best can stay away from me!
What are your thoughts?
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  1. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend! Hugs to you!

    As for family.....I work in a bank and I'm amazed at how people fight over money after a 'loved one' dies. I've seen people come in within an hour or two of the death and start demanding their share.

    1. Thanks MaryFran! I bet working at a bank can be pretty hectic at that time.

  2. "Yes, everyone wants more money but we are supposed to earn our own money. Not count on someone else's." *slow clap*

  3. I'm sorry about your friend.

    I agree with what you wrote. I have felt that way most of my life. I try not to ask anyone for anything. If someone gives me something I appreciate it but I never expect anyone to hand me anything. I would rather make my own money and pay my own way then rely on someone else.

    1. When I was still in the dating scene I used to offer to pay for my food and drinks every time. It is a different scenario but kinda similar point.

  4. I am sorry to hear about your friend. She may have lost the earthly battle - but her life has just begun in the great beyond.

    I also apologize for your family issues - I've been there - It stinks - but, your mindset is SPOT ON. Just keep doing what you are doing, and praying for those people. They obviously need some positivity and light in their worlds.

    Happy Monday Friend.

    1. Thank you. You are right, she is doing MUCH better now :)

      I wish that family didn't do that kind of stuff but it was like a huge revelation when I realized it doesn't have to effect me. It made me feel so much better.

  5. Sorry about your friend.

    Family feuds are the worst. People tend to think that just because they're family they can do whatever they want and get all the benefits without any of the consequences. "Well, I'm family" - yeah, but you're still a human being capable of doing things on your own and knowing right from wrong. Personally, I don't give a shit who they are - if they're asking for handouts and not pulling their own weight, I don't want to be associated with them at all. "Family" or not.