May 28, 2014

Confessional Shit Storm.... Literally (Rated R for language)

Today as I was reading a funny post about a blogger's confessions I could not come up with anything funny or clever because one of my long time friends has cancer that continues to spread.  I sent her a message months ago about nutrients and supplements.  Today I sent a message about food encouraging her to look into the benefits of changing some of her eating habits to help with the treatments she is receiving.  I really hope that she can make some adjustments to her nutrition to help the treatments she is enduring.  The problem is that cancer facilities do not usually talk about nutrition to help them along the way.  It pisses me off because there most certainly is value to what we put in our bodies and why they fuck they don't share that with the patients is beyond me!

Today is my first confession blog and I am going to dump today's frustrations.  It is kind of a poopy pants confession so I will not link up to spread the shit sandwich.  I am frustrated with the way my life is going right now.  I am not where I want to be and I work continuously to reach my damn goals and they are not there.  I am tired of working a 40 hour a week job then working on marketing, blogging and social media on top of that.  I love working on my stuff (the marketing, blogging and social media) but I have little free time for family and friends and little time to do the normal people stuff like laundry, cleaning and errands.  I have a system/schedule to fit it all in but there are not enough hours in the day!

Sometimes I feel like my message is more valuable to me than to others.  For example, the world is loaded with illness, cancer and other shitty ailments and I just want to fix it.  I just want people to be healthy. But that is not always what peeps want to read about.  What benefit would that be?!  More happy, healthy people.  More happy, healthy families and friends.  Lower health care costs, less taxes on the people.  

I am grateful for my job because it has supplied me with income to support myself and I have wonderful benefits and way more paid days off than anybody I know (except the Europeans) or any job I have had in the past.  But - and it is a big BUT - I have to put that first and I don't want to.  I have to put my passion 2nd and I don't want to.  I want to put my passion first and I feel like that is a much better benefit to the community doing that than where I currently work.  I have my place in touching people's lives where I work but I don't think it is quite the magnitude as it is in showing others how to be healthy... and sometimes save their life.

I am struggling with finding a balance in doing it all.  And I want to hurry up at it.  I want to spread the message of health and happiness to the masses.  Large masses.  Like preachers in huge churches.

I am also tired of trial and error.  It takes for fuckin ever!!  Even though it is an evil necessary, it seems like a waste of time because it isn't productive - except to show me what not to do.

As I write this it is just a negative ass dump.  I am poo pooing on everything and it is not an uplifting funny blog at all.  Well, as I re-read this some of it is kinda humorous!!  I prefer to be uplifting and I would like to be funny but sometimes I am too serious to be funny.  That part I can deal with but the part where I don't have adequate time to do what I need to do is a bummer.

I constantly remind myself that it weren't for my job I would be frantic doing what I do from home.  I would probably wish that I had a job and be stressed out over the fact that I did not have one.  This is what I do to make myself feel better about having to go to work every day.  I don't have to do this all the time because I am typically happy.  But when I hear about how people are suffering and sometimes a change in their diet is all they need - I just want to scream at the medical industry.  We need medicine and medicine needs nutritional information.  There is so much for any doctor to learn that it is impossible to learn everything to treat every single person.  What would be nice is to incorporate natural foods with the medical industry.

Please understand I am not suggesting we can cure all cancer and/or ailments with proper eating but I will share a story of a family friend who changed her eating habits upon being diagnosed with cancer.  The doctors said she needed surgery right away to have a double mastectomy and treatment but she refused.  We thought she was crazy but she did it anyway.  She purchased her foods at the co-op, which is a place where the items are all organic, and this was in the 80s so organic stores were not as convenient.  Her skin was an orangeish hue because of all the carrots she ate.  She beat cancer and lived another 25 yrs until she started eating outside of what she had adopted upon being diagnosed with cancer.

What would be nice is to spread the word about weight loss because health depends on it.  Obesity is a killer and causes so many health conditions.  What would be nice is to teach people about food addictions.  It would be nice for people to know that most of the shit in your house is toxic.  Not to create a scare but to create awareness so we can use healthier versions.  I am not going to start making my own soap - I use toxic stuff too but I alternate it with natural stuff too.  It is highly beneficial to know so that we can eliminate toxicity when and where we can.

You know what would be really nice?  To be independently wealthy so I could spread the good news to everyone 40 hours a week!

That's it.  Thanks for coming!  LOL

What do you think about this shit storm?

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  1. Shit storms are necessary.

    I am sorry that you dealing with so much right now. Having a good friend with cancer is REALLY HARD.. and you know you can help.. but, don't want to push.. and don't want that person to feel as if they can not turn to you.

    It's a hard balance.

    I think your message is great, I enjoy reading your blog, because it is informative and exactly what I need.

    Funny is great... Informative is too though. Never forget that.

    :S I fell off the wagon hard yesterday, and I'm literally beating myself up about it.. come on over.. maybe give me some advice... I'd appreciate it.


    1. thanks for stopping by!! I am glad you enjoy the message :) I felt much better after I let it all out. I would have much rather do something funny and uplifting but I suppose that will have to be another day.

  2. I think you have to let it out somewhere. I am so sorry to hear about your friend. That is never easy; I lost a grandparent to cancer not too long ago- but I won't try to pretend I know how you feel. I agree-- if he would have changed his habits, he may still be here. Maybe not. Anyways. It's rough, and I will definitely keep you and your friend in my thoughts.

    I feel like you are speaking what I think most of the time. I work 40 hours a job where I feel like I am not contributing a damn thing and no one wants to hear it anyways, its state politics embedded in a bunch of bullshit if you ask me; but what do I know? I can't quit because I need the money...Can't do what I want because I won't make enough and I need to be in school not working 8-5 an hour's hard. It's hard going to work every day knowing that you have to for various reasons; but what you really want to be doing is helping people by blogging, training, or whatever your heart desires. Believe me...I am there with you. Right next to you maybe.

    I posted on my facebook page (Live Learn Lift Repeat) about this today...or at least what I had in mind when I posted it. To sum it up-- once you find your passion, don't stop trying to do it. Don't stop trying to find ways to make it happen. DO NOT give up. Because whether you think so or not (sometimes I think Im an idiot for believing it); it will happen in some way shape form or fashion; eventually. If it is what you are meant to do. It will happen. Nothing worth it ever came easy you know?

    I love this blog post. I'm glad you shared it. It's the honest truth and to boot...if I wasn't so new, I'd post one like this too-- because its how I feel nowadays. Like running into a brick wall every day. A journey includes everything though- and it's not always pretty. Whether it's covered in cuss words ;) or too blunt for some people's comfort. It's you. and it's what you think.

    I know I struggle with these things in some way probably every week, maybe every day sometimes. Try and remember the positives. Like the things that don't work...good thing you found out now right? And it made you better and smarter. I try to always be real with myself, even if I have to have a pitty party to get over it. I wish we could rush the process too. I want to speak to the world. I want to motivate everybody I see...but reality is so far from our dreams sometimes. I don't know if this helps...seems like a blog post of it's own haha.

    Hang in there. Don't give up, try to stay positive as hard as it may get or has gotten. Come by or message me anytime. You'll get there. :) Thanks for sharing! And thanks for always leaving comments on my blog :) I need to be better at visiting others.

    1. Thanks so much for stopping by! Sometimes I forget we are all human and goes through this crap at some point and you are absolutely right! Trial and error is necessary and I am fully thankful for the dead ends NOW while I have a job rather than later in my own facility/bsnss/whatever it may be!

  3. Well from the previous two blogs, you can see that you are not alone in this fight, but I know that always doesn't help. In this day and age, it is much harder to be a self- made person - too many obstacles to get past but as Rachel said, and I know you believe in this, if it is meant to be, it will be. God's plan for you, most likely, at this time, is not the same as yours so don't fight it - I don't like to see you so down on yourself - you are a loving, caring person and your hard work definitely shows but you can't always get it done. I know you appreciate your job because you have told me about it but there are people who don't have one and wish they did (I know we are all told "eat everything on our plate because there are starving kids around the world") but it is true. You have accomplished a lot in your short life and it all didn't come easy. You are a massage therapist, have a degree and a good job - WOW that says something about you. You are a go-getter but don't be so hard on yourself - as they say, "go with the flow"! Let it happen - I hope your day is going better.

    1. Thanks, the day got better after I wrote it :) The struggle between my passion and my job is ongoing and will not stop until it is one or the other. Such is life.

  4. Keep your chin up!!!!

    As for independently wealthy...I keep praying for that in my hasn't happened yet....I'm still waiting!